One of the best part about Eid is that after the salat is over, you get to go around hugging people. Sadly, it seems a ton of people don’t know how to execute the Eid hug, or add their own customizations to it, thus making it totally awkward for the normal Eid hugger.
For all you people getting ready for Eid tomorrow, this is the standard and socially acceptable way to perform an Eid hug:
- (Optional) Shake the persons hand first
- Say Salaam
- Perform a hug, with your head going on the right side of the person, and both arms around the persons back
- From this first hug, fluidly move to a second hug on the left side, then back to the right side for a third and final hug
- Either say “Eid Mubarak!”, the appropriate dua or something else along those lines while performing the hug. Sorry but “Happy Eid” or “Merry Eid” are unacceptable (and those of you who say that should be ashamed of yourself).
- After the hugging, perform one final handshake
- Bonus points: smile and put your other hand on top of the handshake.
Even though this should be well understood by everyone, it seems some people don’t follow this convention. They think they can do their own thing. Other times you find yourself in awkward situations just because of circumstances. Alas, I give you the list of the Eid hugs you are likely to encounter in these days of celebration:
The I will never let go of your hand Hug
This is by far the most common faux-pas in Eid hugs. This guy shakes your hand, but then never lets go. You end up having the hand between your body as you proceed to do the 3 hugs. A hug is meant to be done with two hands, let go of my hand and give me a real Eid hug! Maybe this guy is trying to be efficient, since he knows he has to shake hands at the beginning and the end, he decides he might as well keep a hold of it to save the extra 5 milliseconds it takes to reach your hand forward a second time.
The One Hug
This is when the guy you’re hugging doesn’t do the traditional 3 hugs, he just does one and bounces. He saves the 3 hugs for only those he considers worthy.
The Two Hug
This is when the guy does two iterations, but doesn’t do the third. The guy doing The One Hug is just lazy or doesn’t like you. What’s this guy’s excuse? Plus, doesn’t he know that the Prophet (s) is a fan of odd numbers? He should be ashamed of himself.
The Armpit hug
This usually happens when you’re hugging someone way taller than you. Instead of getting your head above his shoulder, your face gets pressed against his armpit in each iteration of the hug. You just have to pray he’s also not a person who hands out the hug below.
The B.O. Hug
This guy smells so bad you can catch a whiff of him from a few meters away. You try to escape and pretend like you didn’t see him, but it’s too late, he’s coming in for the hug. You make a small dua that this guy is one of those one-huggers, because you don’t know if you’ll be able to last all 3. If you’re wondering why you’re getting way less Eid hugs this year than last, it’s likely because last Eid you stank and everyone’s avoiding you this time.
The Second Hand B.O Hug
This happens after you hug someone with B.O. so strong, that it sticks to you for the rest of the Eid Huggings. Everyone you hug from that point on will think you don’t bathe or use deodorant. But you have to try to get that smell off you, so you go find the nicest smelling people and hug them for extra long to try and catch some of their smell.
This is when you make eye contact with someone, go in for the hug, only to find out this guy never saw you; he was going in for the hug with the guy behind you. When this happens, you immediately look around and hope no one noticed.
Similar to the rejected hug, but in this case you go in for the hug anyways, not caring this person doesn’t want to hug you.
The Double Take
Before you hug this guy, you go into a deep discussion of whether or not you’ve already done the Eid Mubarak hug yet.
The Business Eid Hug
This guy just wants to get to work, so he’ll barely stop to hug anyone on his way out the door. As you give him the final handshake his arm is stretched away because he’s already moved on from you.
The I Can’t Hug You
This is when you go in for the hug, but the guy’s like “I missed Eid Salat, I can’t hug you yet.”
The World Record Hugger
This guy is the one trying to set the world record for the greatest number of people he can hug. As soon as salat is over, this guy is whizzing through hugging everyone he sees. Each hug lasts for under 1 second, each iteration for 1/3 of a second. Right, Left, Right, boom. Next!
The Kiss Hug
Obvious – when the 3 hugs are accompanied by a kiss on each cheek. More of a middle eastern thing, but still very popular.
The Wet Hug Part #1
This is the guy that gives the kisses 3 times, but instead of doing your standard Arab cheek kiss/peck, this joker slobbers all over you. You just hope this guy isn’t also the B.O hugger, otherwise you end up smelling like this guy’s body, breath, and breakfast.
The Wet Hug Part #2
This guy is really suffering with the crappy AC, and his back is totally drenched. Not fun putting your arms around this guy. This is one case where it’s a good idea to not let go of the handshake. The less hands touching his back the better.
The Head Cruncher
This weirdo insists on pressing his head against yours in each of the three hugs. Nothing really wrong with it, but after you’re done, you’re left wondering what just happened.
The Bonus Hug
This guy just loses count, and ends up handing out more than 3 hugs.
The Around the World Hug
This guy gives such wide hugs that his head goes outside the radius of your arms. It feels like he’s trying to have a conversation with someone behind you and you’re just blocking his way.
The Stranger Hug
This is when you accidentally make eye contact with someone you don’t know. Neither of you want to hug each other, but once eye contact is made you have no choice, the hug must take place. It’s like an unwritten rule. The jerks here won’t give out a hug, and they’ll just shake your hand and say Eid Mubarak.
The Head Clonker
This is when two people go for the hug, not coordinating which side they’re starting from resulting in their heads clonking.
The Man Hug
This is when instead of doing a proper Eid hug, guys do their traditional shoulder side hug. This is likely done to avoid certain parts of their body from touching the other guy’s certain part of the body.
The Scandalous Hug
This is when two unrelated people of the opposite gender perform the full out Eid hug. If an aunty or uncle see you, expect them to go ask your parents if you’re secretly engaged. If you end up doing this to your cousin, and aunties and uncles see you, you can pretty much consider yourself married to that cousin now.
The Hand Cruncher
This guy gives such crazy handshakes that the only thing you’re thinking about during the 3 hugs is how do you avoid the final handshake with this guy.